10 Types Of People On Your WhatsApp List (Number 9 Is Very Annoying)
10 Types Of People On Your Whatsapp List (Number 9 Is Very
Annoying)
by Ameborguy
OTHERS
Whatsapp, a.k.a Wasop or Wazzap or Wosap, is a lovely
platform that heightens interactivity. Don’t you just love how
people you gave your number start texting you, even when you
do not like them enough to get chatsy?
Phone screens embolden us to vent words we dare not speak, and
so people have the liver to text unfortunate words at us. Unlike
other social media platforms that give you anonymity, you are
careful what you use as updates.
(For the fear of being disinherited, you can’t afford to let your
family know if you really think Blue is the Warmest Colour.)
Based on “research”, I have compiled a list of different kinds of
people on your Whatsapp list.
Here they are:
1. Broadcasters
Once upon a time, some of these broadcasters chided us saying,
“You press phone too much.” You have headache and next thing:
“Why won’t you have headache when you are always pressing
phone?” They have discovered the amazing wonders of “Wosap”
and they no longer badger us for pressing phones. Nowadays,
they send broadcast messages you probably do not read.
The other kinds of these broadcasters are just disgusting. We are
so pissed at them that we have blocked them. Like, how are you
less than forty and sending broadcast messages? Je ne comprende
pas.
2. Morality Prefects
These people are from your religious centre, or probably that
relative. They want to police your updates. “Dave, why are you
wearing earring?” “Lisa, your cleavage is showing too much.”
You
make a Facebook update and type “sex”, and they ask you why
you typed that vulgar word. They even preach to you. It’s not as
though they do not fornicate or commit adultery. Lemme jus’ kip
chot and face front. Mhmm!
3. That Annoying Fellow
It could be that guy or girl that has been trying to date you since
1769. They do not understand that pestering someone is not
seductive. (Sigh) People are not even patient enough to seduce
people. No! They will thrust the concept of romance in your face
until it feels as though it were a bad stench. They probably text
risqué stuff at you that pisses you off.
4. Evangelists
These people will send you broadcast messages from scripture
according to whatever religion they practice. This reminds me of
that married man that wanted to fornicate with me. Uncle was
sending religious broadcast messages, o. (Laughs in wickedness.)
5. Ndi Sup
Out of nowhere, they text you “to check up on you”. Their texts
mostly come at that exact time you do not want to have human
interaction.
They probably want something from you. “A toad
does not run in daylight for nothing.”
Sometimes it is a delight reading their texts. That is if you really
do like them. You two get to chat as if nothing changed. You
probably miss(ed) them.
6. Amebo
They share links from different news site or social media
platforms. They could be exhausting, really. Like, Shaquisha, I ain’t
openin’ these links you be sendin’ me. Sometimes, they send stuff
that is beneficial to you.
7. Slayonce
These boys and girls can change DP (display picture) for Africa!
Everything they do, they must snap. You do not need to ask
what they are doing with their lives: they have already given you
info.
Very narcissistic bunch! Their social media profile is the
shrine they have built to worship their egos.
8. Business Partners/Colleagues
It’s just work, work, work, work, work, work. They have sane
stuff to tell you. Except you two are friendsly, you do not get to
chat much. Reminds me of Aristotle’s “Friendship of Utility”.
9. Snobs
They are never the first to text you. If they manage to text you,
it is because they need or want something from you.
The times
you text them, they reply after ten million years.
10. Le Crush
A notification from them and your perfidious heart becomes a
ballerina: it does ten fouettes, leaps into an amazing jete, and
crashes off stage avec un bang. That is how pathetic it is. Because
you are a proud someone, you stall before replying the text.
That
does not mean they do not have your mumu button. Ordinary
text that you should send, you become clueless – you lose your
ability to sew words together to make a coherent sentence.
If you have such a person on your Whatsapp list, receive
strength.
Like other crushes, it will fizzle out soon.
There are more, but as I stated earlier, this is the top ten. There is
no way you would not have at least about five of these people
on your list. It gets more interesting that you might be one of
these people. If you are, all I can tell you is this: be nicer in 2018.
P.S. There are “Matured People”, too. They hardly change DP or
status. Is there an award somewhere? Also, we have our close
pals. We text them every day: there is always gist or
someone (or
something) to hate on together.
That is what besties do: throw
shade at people together and laugh in wickedness.
If love does not bring us together, hate will.
Written by Cisi Eze
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Annoying)
by Ameborguy
OTHERS
Whatsapp, a.k.a Wasop or Wazzap or Wosap, is a lovely
platform that heightens interactivity. Don’t you just love how
people you gave your number start texting you, even when you
do not like them enough to get chatsy?
Phone screens embolden us to vent words we dare not speak, and
so people have the liver to text unfortunate words at us. Unlike
other social media platforms that give you anonymity, you are
careful what you use as updates.
(For the fear of being disinherited, you can’t afford to let your
family know if you really think Blue is the Warmest Colour.)
Based on “research”, I have compiled a list of different kinds of
people on your Whatsapp list.
Here they are:
1. Broadcasters
Once upon a time, some of these broadcasters chided us saying,
“You press phone too much.” You have headache and next thing:
“Why won’t you have headache when you are always pressing
phone?” They have discovered the amazing wonders of “Wosap”
and they no longer badger us for pressing phones. Nowadays,
they send broadcast messages you probably do not read.
The other kinds of these broadcasters are just disgusting. We are
so pissed at them that we have blocked them. Like, how are you
less than forty and sending broadcast messages? Je ne comprende
pas.
2. Morality Prefects
These people are from your religious centre, or probably that
relative. They want to police your updates. “Dave, why are you
wearing earring?” “Lisa, your cleavage is showing too much.”
You
make a Facebook update and type “sex”, and they ask you why
you typed that vulgar word. They even preach to you. It’s not as
though they do not fornicate or commit adultery. Lemme jus’ kip
chot and face front. Mhmm!
3. That Annoying Fellow
It could be that guy or girl that has been trying to date you since
1769. They do not understand that pestering someone is not
seductive. (Sigh) People are not even patient enough to seduce
people. No! They will thrust the concept of romance in your face
until it feels as though it were a bad stench. They probably text
risqué stuff at you that pisses you off.
4. Evangelists
These people will send you broadcast messages from scripture
according to whatever religion they practice. This reminds me of
that married man that wanted to fornicate with me. Uncle was
sending religious broadcast messages, o. (Laughs in wickedness.)
5. Ndi Sup
Out of nowhere, they text you “to check up on you”. Their texts
mostly come at that exact time you do not want to have human
interaction.
They probably want something from you. “A toad
does not run in daylight for nothing.”
Sometimes it is a delight reading their texts. That is if you really
do like them. You two get to chat as if nothing changed. You
probably miss(ed) them.
6. Amebo
They share links from different news site or social media
platforms. They could be exhausting, really. Like, Shaquisha, I ain’t
openin’ these links you be sendin’ me. Sometimes, they send stuff
that is beneficial to you.
7. Slayonce
These boys and girls can change DP (display picture) for Africa!
Everything they do, they must snap. You do not need to ask
what they are doing with their lives: they have already given you
info.
Very narcissistic bunch! Their social media profile is the
shrine they have built to worship their egos.
8. Business Partners/Colleagues
It’s just work, work, work, work, work, work. They have sane
stuff to tell you. Except you two are friendsly, you do not get to
chat much. Reminds me of Aristotle’s “Friendship of Utility”.
9. Snobs
They are never the first to text you. If they manage to text you,
it is because they need or want something from you.
The times
you text them, they reply after ten million years.
10. Le Crush
A notification from them and your perfidious heart becomes a
ballerina: it does ten fouettes, leaps into an amazing jete, and
crashes off stage avec un bang. That is how pathetic it is. Because
you are a proud someone, you stall before replying the text.
That
does not mean they do not have your mumu button. Ordinary
text that you should send, you become clueless – you lose your
ability to sew words together to make a coherent sentence.
If you have such a person on your Whatsapp list, receive
strength.
Like other crushes, it will fizzle out soon.
There are more, but as I stated earlier, this is the top ten. There is
no way you would not have at least about five of these people
on your list. It gets more interesting that you might be one of
these people. If you are, all I can tell you is this: be nicer in 2018.
P.S. There are “Matured People”, too. They hardly change DP or
status. Is there an award somewhere? Also, we have our close
pals. We text them every day: there is always gist or
someone (or
something) to hate on together.
That is what besties do: throw
shade at people together and laugh in wickedness.
If love does not bring us together, hate will.
Written by Cisi Eze
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